Me and running are on bad terms right now. I’m trying really hard to turn things around and be positive, but I’m not doing a very good job. In fact, I called Kirk during the final miles of my “long” run on Sunday…crying…and told him that very thing. In fact I finish too many of runs in tears recently…it’s a little sad.
I continue to quit this marathon every weekend, but always turn around and say I’ll do it anyway. I’m so burned out on running right now, it’s not even funny. Runs that should be easy at this point are a constant struggle.
I hate running because:
- It’s hard.
- It’s frustrating. Knowing I should be able to do more than I can.
- It hurts…always something aching right now.
I love running because:
- It’s hard.
- It gives me the energy to be active in other areas.
- The sense of accomplishment after a hard run that I pushed through.
- The feeling of freedom on that sought-after, effortless run.
- The scenery. Either at home or while travelling.
- The calories I burn while running.
It’s interesting that coming up with things I hate was so much harder than the things I love. That just reinforces that I still love it deep-down, running and I just need some space!
I can’t wait until I can say the marathon is over, less than 2 weeks from now. I hope I can say it was less miserable than expected from all the altitude running. Then I can take a break, we can have our space, and I can refocus on all those reasons I love running.
Until then, I’ll enjoy my time in the gym, the shortening of my runs, and think about crossing another state off my marathon list. I’ll read the race reports of some amazing women I know who have been kicking butt with their running (like Kristin, Linz, and Krysten, to name just a few). And dream of getting my running mojo back again some day.
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Questions for you:
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Any love/hate relationship in your life right now?
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Do you have a running mantra?
{ 33 comments… read them below or add one }
Awww Heather! At least you said it :) I can say with complete certainty that when you run alongside Marines in full gear carrying men on their backs in honor of their fallen brothers, your high altitude crap runs will fly out the window! Last year those young men and women kept me inspired – enough to get me again this year! I’ll be out there in my MNA shirt just cruisin’ along. Stop by! Sending you lots and lots of good running juju…
I’ll look for you – I wish I had time to make a BWV shirt! I’m hoping for a freakishly awesome run. And some Sticky Fingers donuts after. :)
Aw girl! I definitely feel ya. Whenever I’m on the home stretch of a training plan, I get antsy to “be done” with running for a little while.. I think itz healthy to take breaks and switch up the routine anyway and only do it when ya want… itz not like you’re not active!!
Linz @ Itz Linz recently posted..How did I PR on a super hilly course?
Antsy is an understatement, but you’re on the same page. It’s funny because I still like the thought of racing. :) I’m ready to stop complaining, run the race, and move on!
I’m sorry you are hating running right now! That makes it no fun… at all! I will be praying that God will give you the strength to get through these next few weeks and then you can rest your body. When we start to hate it… it just isn’t worth it anymore!
Brittany @ Delights and Delectables recently posted..New Treats from Trader Joe’s
I hope you know how much I appreciate your prayers! I’m ready to get my love for running back!!
Booo! I know how you feel as I went through a phase like that too. Took a few weeks off and I was craving it again. You’re so close that I say push through and then take all the time you need after. Sweaty runner hugs to you!
Tina @ Best Body Fitness recently posted..Post Run Routine & Marathon #2
That’s the plan – I hope it works as well for me as it did for you. I’ve been here before and I know that’s exactly what I need. :) I will push through and I’ll be so happy to finally cross that finish line!!
i’ve never run as much as you have, but I felt this way after the Atlanta 1/2. I was just done. And I haven’t gotten the urge to sign up for a race since. I’m ok with that – the urge will come.
Lindsay @ Lindsay’s List recently posted..a trainer’s life – the listening
I hope it doesn’t take me that long to feel the love again, but I know what you mean. I think I just need you to come run with me – then we’d both WANT to run. :)
I know this is so though for you… I admire you for powering through and recognizing that ultimately you do love running. You’re so close to gettig a little break!
Laura @ Sprint 2 the Table recently posted..Work It Out Beyond Fulls
Thanks girl – I know I can do it. If you can stick to your diet and exercise plan, I can run this “little race”. But I’m not wearing a bikini to do it! ;)
That’s awful! I can imagine that it must get like that when you have to devote so much time and energy to train for something big like a marathon. I, for one, always have a hate/hate relationship with running :) I hope this week you have a run that reminds you of your passion for it!
Natalie @ Free Range Human recently posted..Just Another Manic Monday
It’s not usually like this, but I had to share what I was feeling. I’m glad this isn’t normal for me, but I’m anxious to get back to normal!
I always finish my run by thanking God for the ability to run. I try not to take it for granted. Knowing my good health isn’t just for my pleasure, I also pray how to use my good health in service to others.
Love that reminder – what a great way to finish your run!
Okay. Soooo … I was with you before up until this post.
I think you need a break. I know you have this marathon, but can you either walk it (I know, lame) or find somebody to transfer your registration to?
Here’s the deal:
It’s frustrating. Knowing I should be able to do more than I can.
It hurts…always something aching right now.
I feel like you are going to push yourself too hard and end up with an injury. You’re clearly not enjoying it, and your body seems to want a break.
Also, though you have been able to do more in the past, you obviously aren’t able to now for whatever reason (I’ve been in this same boat).
Anyway, think about it. Just a little breakup. I just don’t want to see you ending up like me with a stupid sprained ankle.
Calee (@chimes) — life + running recently posted..Tuesday Tutes and Loot [10]: Kale Chips 3 Ways.
This made me smile, because I can tell you genuinely care – thank you so much Calee!!! I don’t think I’m on the verge of injury and I’m seeing a sport chiro for my foot (who still think the marathon is okay). If it turns acute during the race, I WILL get on the subway and go spectate with Lauren instead of racing – I promise. :)
you know what? this will make that race even more of an accomplishment! you have worked SO HARD for this, and soon you can take a break from it… I bet you’re right though, deep down you love it, and once you’re done training you’ll be able to run just because! and you will.
Kristina recently posted..blueberry lemon pancakes
You are so right! I’m not sure I’ve worked as hard as I could have, but I have at least done enough distance to do it. I hope you are right – maybe I do just need less structure for a while. Hopefully after a month that will be enough. :)
Girl you’re not alone, I too am going through an I hate running stage. I think running (at least for me) goes in seasons: sometimes my body hates it, sometimes it craves it. Since right now my body seems to have an allergic reaction to running (try as I might I can’t talk myself into long runs right now) I’m doing a lot of yoga & really enjoying that…but I know eventually I will go back to running.
Hang in there, 2 weeks will come & go before you know it & then you’ll have a nice break! :)
Carolina @ Peas in a Blog recently posted..Taco Salad.
Ah yoga…that sounds amazing. I was considering hosting a yoga-a-day challenge for November originally, but really think I need no rules next month to decompress. Only 1 1/2 weeks to go!
You’ve probably already said this like a bajillion times but I’ve been so out of the loop lately with all this house hunting. Where is your upcoming marathon?
Kelly @ No Sugar Sweet Life recently posted..Beware and BE Aware: From Dream Home to Nightmare
Haha – no worries! I’m doing the Marine Corps Marathon (in DC) the last weekend of the month.
I hear ya! It happens to everyone… I think. I’m getting back into running (though clearly far from your level), but I’m so slow. I don’t like to run – I like to run fast, so this is rough for me. If your heart isn’t in it though, don’t force it. You know what’s best. :)
Tiff @ Love Sweat and Beers recently posted..Hearty Meals 4 Healthy Hubbies
I wish I could have deferred this race and I would have, but I can’t this year. I hope that I can say I’m glad I pushed through in the end!
we used to have a love hate relationship with running. now our love hate relationship is with burpees
but we tell ourselves to keep pushing through as we know that with each one additional burpee will help make us stronger ;)
purelytwins recently posted..making a mess in the kitchen
Ah…burpees – that’s a good parallel right now. Good for you, but not usually fun! And you’re right…it’s going to make me a stronger runner!
:(
I’m so sad that something you once loved is getting you down. I think that really just means you are doing the right thing in choosing to take a step back and refocus on other things. NOTHING should make you cry that you can prevent. (Does that make sense?)
I am sending you positive vibes and I wish I could say I know how you feel, but as the farthest I’ve run still is much less than I’m sure you are knocking out, I don’t think I can EXACTLY relate. However, I’m going to just stick to my averages of 10 miles and be happy. :)
I feel kind of bad I brought everyone down with this post, but I wanted to be real. I will get my love back, it just happens this way sometimes. And I know it. It just doesn’t make it easier when it happens. :)
Thanks for the positive thoughts – stick with your running fun and enjoy it!!
I so appreciate your honesty, Heather! I agree with what everyone else has shared – tough it out, finish what you’ve trained for (so you’ll likely not regret backing out) and then take a break. That being said, if you really feel like you shouldn’t run this marathon and WON’T regret it, then drop out! We won’t judge you and it’s certainly been done before. I think there’s a line you need to find when it comes to pushing yourself hard versus too far, and it’s difficult for me to say where that is but I hope you’re able to find that line and know on which side of it you stand right now.
Best of all? You recognize how much you do love running. :) I always make a list of pros and cons when I’m uncertain about something (as well as pray and ask others for wisdom!) and your list looks clear to me! You’re in this for life, I think. ;) But we all need breaks sometimes! I hope you can listen to your body and relax in your decision. Loved your post – and most of all, YOU!
Bonnie recently posted..Friday: Focus on FUN!
Thanks Bonnie! Sometimes that line is hard to tell, but I think I’ll be good to run this weekend, with zero expectations and ready to be slow. And you’re right – I’m in this for life, just need to get over this hump!
It’s funny because whenever I get really into running…I hurt myself and have to take a break. I definitely understand where you’re coming from though. Especially when you’re training for a race, running can get old. It’s one thing to run just to run and a completely other thing to run a certain number of miles because you have to since you signed up for this race and x number of miles is on the schedule today. I hope you take the break after the race! :)
Amanda @ Diary of a Semi-Health Nut recently posted..Spicy Mexican Chicken Tacos